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the absolute beginner's guide to family history

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starting family history: asking the family

Your relatives can be a valuable source of information about your family's past and you should make it a priority to speak to them. Start with the older generation but don't ignore younger members as they may remember stories told by their parents and grandparents.

Some important tips before you start.

• Be sensitive - remember that social attitudes have changed dramatically over the recent past. If your relative avoids certain questions just make a mental note of the forbidden topic and move on, otherwise you could lose that person's trust and good will.

• Don't contradict your relative even if what they say doesn't agree with your other information. Just make a note of what they say and check it later.

• Be patient - it sometimes takes several rambling conversations before an important or interesting piece of information is revealed.

• Take note of family legends, for though they are often distorted and/or exaggerated they can lead you to the facts. Be prepared though for them to be completely wrong.

• Always take notes even if something seems irrelevant at the time.

What to ask?

In the first instance, try to fill in the gaps in your own knowledge. Do you know your grandmother's maiden name, place and date of birth for example? Do you know where and when your grandparents were married? This type of information is usually readily available from older members of the family. Don't forget to ask for details of any aunts, uncles and cousins as these may help you to identify your family in official documents.

Remember to ask whether they have any photographs, certificates or other documents which will help you in your search.

Once you've gathered basic details don't stop there. Old people usually enjoy talking about the past and many have remarkably clear memories about it. So encourage them to talk about what life was like when they were young - ask about occupations, schooling and family activities. You'll get a more rounded picture of your ancestors and may well pick up clues which will help you later in your research.

After you've asked your relatives you may want to move on to checking official sources.

  Using certificates       The census        Wills